loneliness | Stamp With Anita

Welcome back for part two of “All The Lonely People”. You can read part one here.

This year my “ONE WORD” is { INTENTIONAL }.

I’ve decided I live way too much of my life on auto-pilot. A revelation that came to me while I attended Brave Girls Camp back in May of 2012. I was awaken to the fact that it’s hard to enjoy life when you’re on auto pilot. You miss out on all that it has for you. So this year I am focusing on living my life with intent. Intentional time with my Lord… with self care… with relationships… with inspiring, creating and sharing. This new Blog as a big part of that.

One thing that I’m going to be intentional with is sending out more cards. You may think that is a no-brainer since I’m a Stampin’ Up! Demonstrator but I actually was better at that before I became a Demonstrator. I get so busy with the prepping of classes and events that I don’t take the time to make them for myself to give. Or worse, I actually do get them made but never manage to get them sent out. I have stacks of unmailed cards to prove it. Sad but true…

To continue from part one of “All The Lonely People” I am also going to be intentional with awareness of those around. Again it’s so easy to overlook others when you are operating on auto pilot. So many around us are hurting or lonely. I need to have my eyes open and we all need to be gentle with one another ~ Lives depend on it. My dear friend Melody Ross from Brave Girls Club shared in THIS incredible blog post about how it would be so propound if we could all wear a sign proclaiming what we were going through or what we needed. We are all so afraid of what others would think… our weaknesses would be exposed. So instead we tend to hide behind the pain, behind the loneliness, behind the screen and pretend everything is okay.

I’m working on being intentional with growing and my time with the Lord as well. I’m in the middle of Beth Moore’s “Sacred Secrets” Bible Study where she just shared with us that secrets manifest. We may think that what is going on in our lives is hidden but it will manifest itself one way or another.

It may be that the disengaged or grouchy girl whose path you just crossed was up all night with a teething baby, or she has been taking care of her own mother who doesn’t remember who she is, or she just got the test results from the doctor, or someone she cares about deeply just tried to end their own life, or she lives with the memories of child abuse, or the father that she finally was able to forgive and build a relationship with is dying, or her husband is dealing with depression and she yearns for him to just and hold her tight, or maybe he just told her that his business is going under and they may lose everything they’ve worked so hard for, or her closest friend just betrayed her, or she has unfulfilled dreams and desires, or fear has paralyzed her, or she can’t remember what it’s like to not feel pain, or she is so very lonely.

Anyone of us could be that girl. I know because I’ve been that girl. We all need a little grace at times. We all need someone to really see us… to hear us. So many are screaming without uttering a word. Let’s look up from our screen and see past others eyes to find a soul. Intentional living matters… kindness matters… love matters most…

Casting Crown does a beautiful job reminding us of this in their song “Does Anyone Hear Her”.

{ We who have strong faith should help the weak with their problems. We should not please only ourselves. We should all please our neighbors. Let us do what is good for them. Let us build them up. ~Romans 15:1-2 }

If you are the one that is crying out and feel like you are not seen or heard please know that you are not alone. You are truly loved. God has not forgotten you. He sees you. He hears you when no one else does. I hope and pray that you can be brave enough to come out from behind your screen and ask for your deepest needs and desires. We were not meant to do this journey alone. Seek out a safe place of community where you can be encouraged, thrive and grow. The Lord has promised to never leave you. He has a plan for your life… a plan for an awesome and wonderfully fulfilled life even more than you can possibly dream or imagine.

{ For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. ~ Jeremiah 29:11 }

So now I’m off to getting some cards sent out… because it matters…

{ Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you. ~ 1 Peter 5:7 }

{ My God will use his glorious riches to give you everything you need. ~ Philippians 4:19 }

Blessings & Happy Stampin’
Anita Haines

February is considered the month of “love” and most of us just finished celebrating the day of love “Valentine’s Day”. This can certainly be a day with mixed emotions. For some it’s a fun day filled with gifts or tokens of love from a “valentine”. But for others it’s a painful reminder that they are alone. Some have even coined the day as “Single Awareness Day”. We chuckle at this term, but for those who are struggling with loneliness it can really be a difficult time.

photo credit: Nicole C Haines

There is a huge difference between being alone and loneliness. As a mom of six children I have definitely appreciated my little bouts of alone time. At the same time, I will be completely honest with you… I’ve also experienced being in a room full of people and feeling incredibly alone. All of us have struggled at one time or another with loneliness. It’s when we find ourselves so isolated that we can’t seem to find our way out that it becomes a serious health risk.

photo credit: Nicole C Haines

Studies have shown isolation to be twice as dangerous as obesity. It can impair our immune system and can lead to depression, heart disease, diabetes and even suicide. In a time where social media is at an all time high we have become increasingly more socially isolated. We hide behind all our posts of a perceived perfect life. We find ourselves almost like an addiction coming back for more “friends” and “likes”. Let’s be honest here, it’s natural to want a positive response to what we post. I’ll admit I do.

photo credit: Nicole C Haines

But when we start to define our self worth by how many likes a post or photo gets we can easily become disillusioned. Don’t get me wrong. I love all the benefits and blessings of connecting and re-connecting with friends and family through social media and even now through this new Blog. But I find myself more and more yearning for real life face-to-face interaction with people. Some days I just need a real person with skin on to converse with or an authentic hug where you simply melt into someone… and my beloved MacBook or i-phone just don’t do it for me.

Using technology to connect is great and an answer to prayer for some. But it should not be the only connection you have with others. As a family we don’t allow phones at our dinner table so we can connect with one another. I am so saddened when I am out to eat and see a table full of people focused on their screens instead of one another. Life goes by too quickly to spend it in front of a screen all day. I need intentional time with a real person. Maybe it’s because all my kiddos are now in school full time, or because I work by myself from home, or maybe it’s just been this long winter and lack of sunshine we’ve had… but I can’t imagine that I’m alone on this.

What would happen if we all were to be intentional and real with connecting with others? Maybe you will have to disconnect in order to connect? This past year a number of my girlfriends didn’t realize how much they were missing out on until they decided to take a temporary break from technology including social media and watching TV. I want to encourage and even challenge you {as well as myself} to just make an effort to reach out to someone else in some way.

You know… that friend you’ve been thinking about or always say you need to get together with. It won’t happen by accident… be intentional and take the first step. Go ahead and pick up the phone and give her a call, ask her to meet you for lunch, or sit down and write a letter or send a card with a note of encouragement ~ a hand stamped card with a hand written note inside is always a gift. Writing seems to be a lost art. I know I treasure anything I have with my mom’s hand writing on it. As soon as I see her handwriting I can see her face and hear her voice. Or go ahead and use technology and social media… send an encouraging text, email or message to lift someone up. You never know what a perfect blessing it will be at just the right time.