February is considered the month of “love” and most of us just finished celebrating the day of love “Valentine’s Day”.  This can certainly be a day with mixed emotions.  For some it’s a fun day filled with gifts or tokens of love from a “valentine”.  But for others it’s a painful reminder that they are alone.  Some have even coined the day as “Single Awareness Day”.  We chuckle at this term, but for those who are struggling with loneliness it can really be a difficult time.

photo credit: Nicole C Haines

There is a huge difference between being alone and loneliness.  As a mom of six children I have definitely appreciated my little bouts of alone time.  At the same time, I will be completely honest with you… I’ve also experienced being in a room full of people and feeling incredibly alone.  All of us have struggled at one time or another with loneliness.  It’s when we find ourselves so isolated that we can’t seem to find our way out that it becomes a serious health risk.

photo credit: Nicole C Haines

Studies have shown isolation to be twice as dangerous as obesity.  It can impair our immune system and can lead to depression, heart disease, diabetes and even suicide.  In a time where social media is at an all time high we have become increasingly more socially isolated.  We hide behind all our posts of a perceived perfect life.  We find ourselves almost like an addiction coming back for more “friends” and “likes”.  Let’s be honest here, it’s natural to want a positive response to what we post.  I’ll admit I do.

photo credit: Nicole C Haines

But when we start to define our self worth by how many likes a post or photo gets we can easily become disillusioned.  Don’t get me wrong.  I love all the benefits and blessings of connecting and re-connecting with friends and family through social media and even now through this new Blog.  But I find myself more and more yearning for real life face-to-face interaction with people.  Some days I just need a real person with skin on to converse with or an authentic hug where you simply melt into someone… and my beloved MacBook or i-phone just don’t do it for me.

Using technology to connect is great and an answer to prayer for some.  But it should not be the only connection you have with others.  As a family we don’t allow phones at our dinner table so we can connect with one another.  I am so saddened when I am out to eat and see a table full of people focused on their screens instead of one another.  Life goes by too quickly to spend it in front of a screen all day.  I need intentional time with a real person.  Maybe it’s because all my kiddos are now in school full time, or because I work by myself from home, or maybe it’s just been this long winter and lack of sunshine we’ve had… but I can’t imagine that I’m alone on this.

What would happen if we all were to be intentional and real with connecting with others?  Maybe you will have to disconnect in order to connect?  This past year a number of my girlfriends didn’t realize how much they were missing out on until they decided to take a temporary break from technology including social media and watching TV.  I want to encourage and even challenge you {as well as myself} to just make an effort to reach out to someone else in some way.

You know… that friend you’ve been thinking about or always say you need to get together with.  It won’t happen by accident… be intentional and take the first step.  Go ahead and pick up the phone and give her a call, ask her to meet you for lunch, or sit down and write a letter or send a card with a note of encouragement ~ a hand stamped card with a hand written note inside is always a gift.  Writing seems to be a lost art.  I know I treasure anything I have with my mom’s hand writing on it.  As soon as I see her handwriting I can see her face and hear her voice.  Or go ahead and use technology and social media… send an encouraging text, email or message to lift someone up.  You never know what a perfect blessing it will be at just the right time.

Treasured hand written scriptures from my mom

“All The Lonely People” is continued in Part Two HERE.